*Happy April Fool’s Day! This article is part of the Active NorCal April Fool’s Day Extravaganza. Don’t @ us.
The legendary beings that live in Mount Shasta have finally emerged from the mountain to present their existence to mankind, but it didn’t go exactly as they had planned.
Lemurians are an ancient, super-advanced society that has lived under Mount Shasta for millions of years ago, sporadically coming above ground and blending in with the locals. They’ve planned this public revealing for hundreds of years, but it just so happened that it came in 2020 during the Coronavirus outbreak. The Mount Shasta locals told them to go back into the mountain and practice safe social distancing.
“It’s difficult to flatten the curve when you’re introduced to a whole new humanoid species,” said one local. “Besides, who wants to be around us above-ground humans right now anyway?”
Following their negative response to the Lemurians who emerged from the mountain during the shelter-in-place mandate, they told them to just come back next year.
“2020 isn’t our best year so far,” the local told the Lemurian leader. “We should get our act together a little more in 2021.”
If we could learn a thing or two about sheltering-in-place, there’s no one better to look at than Lemurians. They’ve been doing it for millions of years.